Sunday, June 21, 2009
Father's Day
Today was Father's Day, and surprisingly we had a lovely day. I hosted a brunch at my apartment for my family and then we played trivia pursuit. It was a lot of fun.
Monday, June 1, 2009
What I like about you!
Today was a good day and the first day of the month. After having a few depressing days, you tend to appreciate the good ones. I need to keep busy and a positive attitude. Anyway... I thought it might be a good time to try to attempt to accomplish #97.
Write something positive about myself every day for a month.
June 1, 2009 - I think I'm funny. If I didn't have a good sense of humor - my life would be a complete mess. I'm able to find the humor in my not-so-funny life situations.
June 2, 2009 - I've been thinking about what I can say, and right now all I can think of is that ... I'm nice. Saying "I'm nice" is something people say when they have nothing better to say about someone. I can't believe that I have nothing to really that great to say about myself. My friend, Fran, told me I was really thoughtful. That is nice - isn't it!
Hmmm... Ok, so part of this task is making me find something good within myself. I have to say that I'm very emotional, honest and open with myself. I am proud to be so open, although sometimes I think I am open to a fault. I have been in therapy for years, and I am constantly learning about myself and am willing to share my findings/feelings with the world. In a way, I guess it's brave to be that open.
June 3, 2009 - Someone asked me today why I was so mean to myself. I really didn't know what to say to that. I thought I was being funny. I told him it was my defense mechanisms and a way of covering up my pain through humor. See, I told you I was funny! Ok - so something nice. Hmmm.... this is really hard! I'm a good eater? No, just kidding. I try to be a good sibling to my brother and sister, and I try to be good to my family. I'm a little proud that stood up to my overbearing and somewhat controlling dad today. But, I did it in an appropriate, adult way. No one yelled or screamed, and I didn't end up crying. So... a success!
June 4, 2009 - I am trying to be active, productive and accomplish my goals. That's a pretty admirable quality, right? On a kinda funny site note, I just googled "positive qualities in a person", so I can think of positive things to say about myself. I'm all ready for tomorrow's post!
June 5, 2009 - I think I am a funloving individual.
June 6, 2009 - I feel like I'm finally getting into the drivers seat of my life. I havent started driving, but at least I'm adjusting my mirrors. So today, I am going to say that I'm empowered.
June 7, 2009 - Today was a lonely day. It's hard for me to push myself to do stuff when I don't have someone to do it with. Anyway, what can I say that is nice about myself. Honestly I really am not sure what to say. Now that I can't think of something, I will refer to google. Aha - I am curious and thoughtful. I think about things way too much sometimes, but maybe it's a good thing.
June 8, 2009 - I am looking into joining a gym, and I received a trial pass to the Reebok gym. It's an awesome place to work out. I did a stretch class, the rock wall and the eliptical. I'm most proud of myself for attempting the rock wall. Although I didn't get to the top, I did a pretty good job. Ok, so it's not a quality/characteristic, but I'm doing something that makes me feel good about myself. So... does this count? Plus I completed #18. I think I'm going to try it again later in the week.
June 9, 2009 - I am really tired right now and just want to think of something quickly. Hmm... I went to the gym because I am unhappy with my body. That's a good thing.
June 10, 2009 - Went to the gym again - that's a good thing. Today at work someone marveled over how open I was. He thought it was refreshing. Oddly, it made me feel uncomfortable. Ont something nice to say - I'm caring and friendly. Why does saying this not make me feel better about myself?
June 11, 2009 - Soooooooo Sore! Now onto positive things. I'm hard working? Hmmm... Let's go to google. I'm authentic and sincere - I think.
June 12, 2009 - When did I start disliking the weekends. Lately my weekends have been boring, lonely and depressing. The first weekend in a while that was supposed to be fun has started off with a bang - and not in a good way. I spent part of the night crying and thinking. Why do I have to think so much, the more I think the more upset I get. I dont understand people and I am misunderstood. People cant stand me and I cant stand myself. Not a positive thing to think, but its true. I feel so worthless and awful. I just want to go to bed. Sleeping is positive - right?
June 13, 2009 - Another terrible day full of tears. Here is something positive. I care too much for other people and can't stand myself. That's awesome! Maybe one day I will actually find value in myself and will be able to stop caring about what others think or say. Right now, I really only find value in myself when others give it to me. That is how I judge myself - based on how others view me. What a sad existence I live.
June 14, 2009 - OK, well it's actually June 16th today. I missed a few entry's, so I wanted to revisit them today. On June 14th I got incredibly drunk, and don't fully recall much of the day. However, I did catch up with an old friend - which was really nice. In my drunken stupor I dialed my parents and my mother told me she hadn't heard me this happy in a while. Several hours later I was throwing up.
June 15, 2009 - So I threw up right into June 15th and I will quote my mother, "Think of the bright-side, maybe you will lose a few pounds." It was real rough going into work, but I am glad I did. Later that evening I called a friend and was able to work though a misunderstanding (for a lack of a better word) that had a big role in why I was so upset on Friday, June 12th.
June 16, 2009 - I saw my ex-boyfriend and I still am hopeful we will remain friends. It was nice to see him and I am happy he is doing so well. I also gave blood today, so I am saving lives.
June 17, 2009 - Not much to say, just happy that its not the weekend. The weekends are the toughest. I wish I had something really positive, but I don't. If anything I'm a little disappointed in myself. I always manage to complete my to-do lists at work, but when I get home, I become a lazy loafer. I just want to relax - I really need to be more proactive.
June 18, 2009 - I went to the movies by myself. In some ways it was empowering - in other ways, it made me feel like a loser.
June 19, 2009 - Nothing really to report. I am glad that i feel like I have a purpose for my weekend. I'll be hosting Father's Day brunch at my apartment on Sunday, and will be spending most of my weekend prepping for it.
June 20, 2009 - I met up with a friend for lunch. He is one of the few people in this world who I always have fun with and I feel like he get's me - and vice versa. We are both a little bit troubled and lost, maybe that's why we get along so well. It's nice to have that with someone.
June 21, 2009 - Today's Fathers Day and I am glad that I was able to have a nice day with my family. Plus it kept me busy this weekend.
June 22, 2009 - I maturely spoke with a friend about a misunderstanding. And even though the outcome is slightly disappointing, I'm glad we talked about it. Sometimes its difficult to do the right thing. In some situations - there is no right thing.
***It's already July, and I didn't finish this task. Way to go! I meant to continue to write, but lately I have been going through a rough period of time and had really nothing good to say. Maybe it's good that I didn't continue this task. I can always try it again another month.***
Write something positive about myself every day for a month.
June 1, 2009 - I think I'm funny. If I didn't have a good sense of humor - my life would be a complete mess. I'm able to find the humor in my not-so-funny life situations.
June 2, 2009 - I've been thinking about what I can say, and right now all I can think of is that ... I'm nice. Saying "I'm nice" is something people say when they have nothing better to say about someone. I can't believe that I have nothing to really that great to say about myself. My friend, Fran, told me I was really thoughtful. That is nice - isn't it!
Hmmm... Ok, so part of this task is making me find something good within myself. I have to say that I'm very emotional, honest and open with myself. I am proud to be so open, although sometimes I think I am open to a fault. I have been in therapy for years, and I am constantly learning about myself and am willing to share my findings/feelings with the world. In a way, I guess it's brave to be that open.
June 3, 2009 - Someone asked me today why I was so mean to myself. I really didn't know what to say to that. I thought I was being funny. I told him it was my defense mechanisms and a way of covering up my pain through humor. See, I told you I was funny! Ok - so something nice. Hmmm.... this is really hard! I'm a good eater? No, just kidding. I try to be a good sibling to my brother and sister, and I try to be good to my family. I'm a little proud that stood up to my overbearing and somewhat controlling dad today. But, I did it in an appropriate, adult way. No one yelled or screamed, and I didn't end up crying. So... a success!
June 4, 2009 - I am trying to be active, productive and accomplish my goals. That's a pretty admirable quality, right? On a kinda funny site note, I just googled "positive qualities in a person", so I can think of positive things to say about myself. I'm all ready for tomorrow's post!
June 5, 2009 - I think I am a funloving individual.
June 6, 2009 - I feel like I'm finally getting into the drivers seat of my life. I havent started driving, but at least I'm adjusting my mirrors. So today, I am going to say that I'm empowered.
June 7, 2009 - Today was a lonely day. It's hard for me to push myself to do stuff when I don't have someone to do it with. Anyway, what can I say that is nice about myself. Honestly I really am not sure what to say. Now that I can't think of something, I will refer to google. Aha - I am curious and thoughtful. I think about things way too much sometimes, but maybe it's a good thing.
June 8, 2009 - I am looking into joining a gym, and I received a trial pass to the Reebok gym. It's an awesome place to work out. I did a stretch class, the rock wall and the eliptical. I'm most proud of myself for attempting the rock wall. Although I didn't get to the top, I did a pretty good job. Ok, so it's not a quality/characteristic, but I'm doing something that makes me feel good about myself. So... does this count? Plus I completed #18. I think I'm going to try it again later in the week.
June 9, 2009 - I am really tired right now and just want to think of something quickly. Hmm... I went to the gym because I am unhappy with my body. That's a good thing.
June 10, 2009 - Went to the gym again - that's a good thing. Today at work someone marveled over how open I was. He thought it was refreshing. Oddly, it made me feel uncomfortable. Ont something nice to say - I'm caring and friendly. Why does saying this not make me feel better about myself?
June 11, 2009 - Soooooooo Sore! Now onto positive things. I'm hard working? Hmmm... Let's go to google. I'm authentic and sincere - I think.
June 12, 2009 - When did I start disliking the weekends. Lately my weekends have been boring, lonely and depressing. The first weekend in a while that was supposed to be fun has started off with a bang - and not in a good way. I spent part of the night crying and thinking. Why do I have to think so much, the more I think the more upset I get. I dont understand people and I am misunderstood. People cant stand me and I cant stand myself. Not a positive thing to think, but its true. I feel so worthless and awful. I just want to go to bed. Sleeping is positive - right?
June 13, 2009 - Another terrible day full of tears. Here is something positive. I care too much for other people and can't stand myself. That's awesome! Maybe one day I will actually find value in myself and will be able to stop caring about what others think or say. Right now, I really only find value in myself when others give it to me. That is how I judge myself - based on how others view me. What a sad existence I live.
June 14, 2009 - OK, well it's actually June 16th today. I missed a few entry's, so I wanted to revisit them today. On June 14th I got incredibly drunk, and don't fully recall much of the day. However, I did catch up with an old friend - which was really nice. In my drunken stupor I dialed my parents and my mother told me she hadn't heard me this happy in a while. Several hours later I was throwing up.
June 15, 2009 - So I threw up right into June 15th and I will quote my mother, "Think of the bright-side, maybe you will lose a few pounds." It was real rough going into work, but I am glad I did. Later that evening I called a friend and was able to work though a misunderstanding (for a lack of a better word) that had a big role in why I was so upset on Friday, June 12th.
June 16, 2009 - I saw my ex-boyfriend and I still am hopeful we will remain friends. It was nice to see him and I am happy he is doing so well. I also gave blood today, so I am saving lives.
June 17, 2009 - Not much to say, just happy that its not the weekend. The weekends are the toughest. I wish I had something really positive, but I don't. If anything I'm a little disappointed in myself. I always manage to complete my to-do lists at work, but when I get home, I become a lazy loafer. I just want to relax - I really need to be more proactive.
June 18, 2009 - I went to the movies by myself. In some ways it was empowering - in other ways, it made me feel like a loser.
June 19, 2009 - Nothing really to report. I am glad that i feel like I have a purpose for my weekend. I'll be hosting Father's Day brunch at my apartment on Sunday, and will be spending most of my weekend prepping for it.
June 20, 2009 - I met up with a friend for lunch. He is one of the few people in this world who I always have fun with and I feel like he get's me - and vice versa. We are both a little bit troubled and lost, maybe that's why we get along so well. It's nice to have that with someone.
June 21, 2009 - Today's Fathers Day and I am glad that I was able to have a nice day with my family. Plus it kept me busy this weekend.
June 22, 2009 - I maturely spoke with a friend about a misunderstanding. And even though the outcome is slightly disappointing, I'm glad we talked about it. Sometimes its difficult to do the right thing. In some situations - there is no right thing.
***It's already July, and I didn't finish this task. Way to go! I meant to continue to write, but lately I have been going through a rough period of time and had really nothing good to say. Maybe it's good that I didn't continue this task. I can always try it again another month.***
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